They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
