I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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