My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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