I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
