They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
