it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
