Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
