The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize