So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
