I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
