worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
