its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
