i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Screwed.edu
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
