The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I deserve this hangover.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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