Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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