Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
