i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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