too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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