Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
