Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
