we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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