Its about making memories worth repressing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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