i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize