You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
