And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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