How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
