she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
