woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
