hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he shaved USA in his pubs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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