shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
