apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
