I just made out with a guy for $7.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
