I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
