What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
