you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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