I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
