she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
