Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
