TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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