she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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