dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
