my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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