She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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