Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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