Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
