How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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