It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
