I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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