I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
