just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
