This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
