dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize