Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
