Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize