I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think my tv is drunk
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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