you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
