Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize