I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We have started to decorate penises.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
