We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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