True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
