What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
