Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
