hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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