I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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